 | 'The PM sought to emphasise government help for people in a recession and that "yes, there would be chaos with public spending cuts under the Conservatives". Of course, one could humbly point out that, after the woeful events of the last few days, chaos is already here.' Michael Settle, UK Political Editor, in the Herald, 21 st April 2008. |  |
Shamelessness is usually never too far away from the political fray and yesterday it was the David Cameron lookalike who won the parliamentary award for brass neck.
Readers might recall how just a few days ago it was Calamity Clegg who popped up on the telly and, Brutus-like, plunged a rather large cleaver in Michael Martin's chest.
Fast forward to the chandelier parliament at 12.20pm yesterday when Calamity stood up and, to howls of disbelief from the Labour side, said that, despite their differences, he would like to thank the Speaker for the "immensely dignified way in which he made his statement yesterday," adding: "We can move forward to reform this place from top to toe."
Usually after a few seconds of barracking, Mr Martin stands up to quieten down MPs so that the Speaker can continue. It was noticeable how this did not happen for almost half a minute, meaning Mr Clegg was left to stew in the mass of sound created by the comrades. The LibDem leader's contribution was almost lost in the noise.
When Calamity stood up to ask his second question, the Speaker called another MP. After a momentary pause, MPs began to laugh, noting how Mr M had got one back on Calamity.
The jeers continued for some time when the shop steward in tights stood up and snipped: "I thought there were two questions in the first one." This made honourable members shout even louder, at which point Calamity nodded and said: "Touche, Mr Speaker."
No doubt, Mr Martin had a twinkle in his eye.
After the thunderous political deluge of the past 48 hours, a refreshingly cool atmosphere of business as usual swept through the cobwebs of Westminster's gentlemen's
Gordy prefaced the usual ding-dong by praising his fellow Scot, now in the parliamentary departure lounge, for his "outstanding" record of public service and for his "unfailing personal kindness" to all MPs. There was a heartfelt hear hear.
Dave also thanked the Speaker for the "kindness" shown to the Conservative leader when he was a fresh-faced back bencher and for his public service.
Courtesies out of the way, the Tory toff attempted to land a haymaker on the PM's chin when he referred to how Gordy had earlier said a general election would cause "chaos" and asked what he meant.
To Labour cheers, Mr B insisted what would cause chaos would be a horrible Tory government.
"There we have it," blasted Dave, "the first admission that he thinks he's going to lose." Tory cheers. The toff asked the head comrade for a better answer.
Gordy decided on a different tack and spoke of the expenses scandal and the need for "humility" because mistakes had been made by MPs from all
"The only way to sort out the system is to go on and sort out the system," barked the PM. What?
Dave, accusing Gordy of being "hopelessly out of touch," insisted the best way to show humility was to "give the public their voice" in a General Election.
The PM sought to emphasise government help for people in a recession and that "yes, there would be chaos with public spending cuts under the Conservatives".
Of course, one could humbly point out that, after the woeful events of the last few days, chaos is already here.
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